Happiness Amidst Turmoil

Learning to find happiness amidst the turmoil of life has been a topic of much thought and study for me lately. I believe that finding happiness is one of our purposes here on earth. I also believe that a kind and loving Father in Heaven is always there to help us in our search for it. I know He wants it for us and that He has prepared a way for us to find it.

I truly believe that happiness is ultimately a choice we have to make. We have the power to create it within ourselves despite the raging tempest swirling around us.

I teach a communication class to troubled teens and their parents once a week in Provo, Utah. The students learn what is called the "Path to Action." This "path" takes them  through the before, during, and after processes of a difficult conversation. I want to focus on the before portion.

In all situations of life we go through certain processes that define who we are, how we feel, and then ultimately how we act. This is usually how it goes:

See Or Hear Something --> Tell Ourselves A Story --> Feel --> Act on Those Feelings

First, we see or hear something, then we tell ourselves a story about what we saw or heard. After we have convinced ourselves of that story, we start to feel in response to it.These feelings bring actions.

Something Happens...... Watch how you can control the outcome:

Bad Story = Bad Feelings = Bad Actions

It can be a vicious cycle. Let's  change that. 

Good Story = Good Feelings = Good Actions

As you can see, the ultimate power lies in the "Tell Ourselves A Story" step. This is the most important part, and it is where we need to focus. Its application is not just for a hard conversation, but for every aspect of our lives. It can change attitudes, it can bring happiness, it can bring peace, and it can change lives.

We must CHANGE OUR STORY.  When we see and hear the turmoil, heartache, and pain around us, we still must CHOOSE to find the silver lining, see the beautiful and be happy.

"My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." 

(John 14:27)

LET not your heart be troubled. We must not LET ourselves despair. We have the power.

We also have the knowledge from scripture that the Saviour wants us to "be of good cheer."

"In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 

(John 16:33)

I recently read a small book entitled "Finding Peace and Happiness" by Toni Sorenson.



 In it she states:

 "Jesus would never command us to do something and fail to provide a way for us to do it. If He says we can have peace and happiness in the midst of tribulation, then we can... Over and over His message is, "Be of good cheer."

Camille Fronk taught us at the April 2004 BYU Women's conference that:

"To the paralytic man lying helpless on a bed, Jesus proclaimed, 'Be of good cheer'. To the frightened Apostles battling the tempestuous sea, Jesus appeared on the water, declaring "Be of good cheer'. To Nephi the son of Nephi, who was subject to an arbitrary law threatening his life and the lives of other righteous Nephites if the signs prophesied by Samuel the Lamanite didn't' occur, the Lord said, "Lift up your head and be of good cheer'. As Joseph Smith met with then elders about to be sent out, two by two, to missions fraught with trouble and danger,  the Lord announced, 'Be of good cheer'. In each instance the people had every reason to be anxious, fearful, and hopeless, yet the Lord directed them toward a reason to rejoice."

In her book Toni Sorensen said:

"The very reason we exist, the very reason we were created was made clear by the Prophet Joseph Smith: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence." President Lorenzo Snow said: "The Lord has not given us the gospel that we may go around mourning all the days of our lives."

Let us not waste the blessing of life in misery. I challenge you to tell yourself a new story. Remind yourself of all that is good and all that you are thankful for. Don't get tangled up in the negative. Don't let the hard people or difficult situations in your life steal your happiness. 

Some days it will be harder to tell yourself a story of happiness. That's okay.

In an article entitled  Cultivating Happiness in the Blended Family by Diane Green, she talks of ways to find happiness. She lists some positive things to try, but with a small disclaimer:

"Remember, you cannot expect someone else (ex spouses, new spouses, step-children, etc.) to apply these same behaviors, but you can apply them  yourself and begin to reap the benefits."

Ultimately we can only change ourselves and what is inside of our own heart. We can also change how much power the negative things have over us.

 “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”
~Kahlil Gibran

Let go of bitterness, and anger. Forgive others. Forgive YOURSELF. Don't fall prey to self-pity or self-doubt. Tell yourself something different...... something beautiful. 

Change can start today.

-Barb