Resources

In my search for help and answers I have come across a few things that have been life savers to my family and I. Often I find myself with a sad heart and a burning question. What do I do?
First I pray, and then to be quite frank and honest.... I Google it! ;-)

These are a few things that my kind and true friend "Google" has come up with: ;-)

1. http://www.bonusfamilies.com/

This website is a positive help center for blended families. I love it. The founders Jann and Sheryl are experts in the field. And I mean EXPERT! Here is a snippet from their website that explains exactly why..

"Bonus Families®, as an organization was founded in 1999, but the ground work was laid years before. The founders, Jann Blackstone-Ford, PsyD., a divorce and stepfamily mediator, and Sharyl Jupe, had weathered the ups and downs of co-parenting children after divorce for ten years before they felt qualified to form an organization to help others. How did these two women meet? Sharyl is Jann's husband's ex-wife.

Jann and Sharyl did not get along at first. It took years of butting heads before they realized they could actually work together. This effort evolved into what is now known as Bonus Families®. The goal of the Bonus Families® organization is to offer mediation, conflict management, support, and education to people attempting to combine families after a divorce or separation. It combines Jann and Sharyl's practical experience with the expertise of professionals to offer down-to-earth real advice that works."

This is not an LDS specific site, but I have found so many articles here that have helped me to cope and come out ahead in many difficult situations. I love that they refer to Step Families as "BONUS" families.  What a fun and positive way to refer to the people you love!

2. http://www.ldsdivorcesupport.org/Blended-Families.html

This site has also been very beneficial to me in my constant search for answers. There are so many resources here.

In particular, I found an article that has been a life saver for the Dads I know who are the "non-custodial" parent. Dads are often overlooked; their suffering is ignored.
A majority of divorces are not the choice of the husband. When divorce rears its head, these Dads feel completely stripped of the things that are most important to them.
Often the things that happen are completely out of their control. 

If you are that Dad, I want you to know that people are noticing.  

Please take the time to read this article. I think that it is comforting to know you are not alone. Millions of Dads are going through the same thing and there is a way to make a difference in your children's lives.  

It's comfort and it's rooted in the gospel.

Here is a link to that specific article:

http://www.ldsdivorcesupport.org/Dads-of-Divorce.html

3.

This book is a treasure of ideas, solutions and insight. It also helps to explain how a child in a blended family feels. It is worth the money and worth your time.
You can find this book on Amazon by following this link:

 http://www.amazon.com/Stepcoupling-Creating-Sustaining-Marriage-Blended/dp/0609807412/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347909638&sr=1-1&keywords=blended+families

4.

This is another fabulous book. It helps Stepmothers to cope and better understand what children and spouse are going through. It's comprehensive and practical. It is definitely a "must read."
You can also find this book by following this link to Amazon:

  http://www.amazon.com/Love-Him-His-Kids-Stepmothers/dp/159869894X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347909983&sr=1-5&keywords=blended+families

5. Friends and Family

Another great way I have found support and learning is through my friends and family. Their life experience and love is an irreplaceable treasure. 

I appreciate the support that I have been given from these very loved people.

6. Daily Affirmations

Have you ever heard or seen a quote somewhere and it got you through the day?

I have.

I know someone who sends her best friend a positive quote or thought everyday.

To me, it is very important to stay positive even when times are especially hard. I would challenge anyone in any situation to find a thought or a quote each day. Think about and ponder its meaning. How can you use it to make yourself a better, happier, person?

Here are a few that I have seen or have been sent to me by people I love:

 

 Do you see what I mean? Don't be afraid to seek out the positive. Immerse yourself in meaningful and uplifting reading material. Find something inspirational each day to think about.

7. Prayer

This is a provable fact.

Just this summer, my husband and I were faced with a gut-wrenching dilemma that had to do with our children. After a few days of what seemed like constant torture we felt we were at our breaking point. It was that broken-heart, kick-in-the-stomach, sick-feeling, kind of desperation. We were exhausted from the emotional turmoil. 

We were also on a deadline. We needed fast answers and our time was almost up. 

It felt like do or die.

That night I had to do about an hour worth of driving and errands. As I drove, I felt more and more hopeless. 

What could I do?

 I suddenly knew I needed to pray. I didn't kneel or fold my arms. I just talked (and cried) out loud to my Heavenly Father while I drove.

During that time, I handed the problem over to Him.

A sincere and heartfelt plea for help.

It was just that easy.

When I returned home an hour later, my prayer had been answered in a profound way.

Through an unselfish act of kindness by a friend, we found peace.

I'll never forget what that person did.

Never doubt the miraculous power of prayer.

That day, for me, was truly a miracle.

I know that Heavenly Father does not always answer prayers on our timetable or in just an hour. But I do know that He answers them. Always.

 I have never had a stronger testimony of this.

3 Nephi 27:29

  Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

And I am not always good at this! I am very independent and think I can always do things by myself. 

But I have found through meaningful, heartfelt prayer, my life is better.

It is a true and everlasting principle. A most powerful tool.

Use it.

Take a minute to watch this video:

-Barb

p.s. I will continue to post more resources I come across. I'd also like to hear about the things you have found.

Next week, because the topics on this blog up to this point have been a little heavy, I'd like to liven it up a little bit by posting something funny. I've got something in the works.....but in the meantime, do you have a humorous blended family story?

 email me at barbhasmail@gmail.com

p.s.s. As always, I am on the look out for contributors to this blog. If you or someone you know would like to be a guest blogger please send me an email at barbhasmail@gmail.com

If you are new to this blog please take the time to read this post: "Forever" Family Lost..  to understand the mission and purpose behind this blog.