In my quest to find answers and spread the word about my goals for this blog I have often found myself talking about it with people in all areas of my life: Home, Work, School and Church.
I was sort-of doing a blog pitch to one of my classes a few weeks ago and I mentioned some painful things that my children have had to go through during the whole process of divorce to blended family.
I especially talked about some things that pertained to my oldest daughter.
I wondered aloud how my children feel.
My parents aren't divorced and I realize that I have no clue how a child of divorce feels. I can't understand or predict the profound pain that a child would feel during the process and for life.
That is a (MAJOR) problem.
After class, I was privileged to have a conversation with a fellow classmate.
She approached me and in a matter-of-fact way said:
"You know the things you said about your daughter? I was that girl. I understand."
I knew right then she had to write for this blog.
Her name is Jessie Dent.
She sports winning confidence, a gorgeous smile and a wise countenance.
And...
I am happy to say that not only will she write but she will be a regular contributor.
Meet Jessie:
My name is Jessie Dent, and I am a 22 year old kid of divorced parents. Sometimes I forget, because I am lucky enough to have great relationships with both my mother and my father. But when it comes to voice recitals, holiday's, first day of college, wedding day... oh how I remember.
Growing up in Oregon, as a Mormon with divorced parents, I felt noticed. You feel like "that kid".
The song Families Can Be Together Forever... that song is bitter sweet to me. I love every word. I believe in every word. But sometimes I just didn't want to hear it or sing it. Even though both of my parents are remarried, and I am married as well, I still have a hard time singing it... because I think of other kids, mothers, or fathers that are sitting in the same room and feeling sad and lonely.
I also have had some great moments along this crazy journey. On our first little Christmas, feeling very alone and wondering who remembered us, we had a "Secret Santa". I will always remember the gifts given that Christmas. From ornaments, to a manger set, to movie tickets to just go and have a great time. Some nights my mom would hear their car pull up outside, and we knew that the Secret Santa was just a 'window-peek' away. My mom never let us look out the window, and I'm so glad she didn't. Til this day I will never know who it was that gave us the beautiful picture of Christ on Christmas morning. I will never know who it was that made our Christmas feel so special, and I'm so glad that someone out there felt it necessary to reach out to our little family. I will forever be grateful to them for teaching me the lesson of giving even when you are not recognized for it.
I am excited to be sharing insights, stories, advice, and also learning from all of your experiences about blended LDS families.
I was sort-of doing a blog pitch to one of my classes a few weeks ago and I mentioned some painful things that my children have had to go through during the whole process of divorce to blended family.
I especially talked about some things that pertained to my oldest daughter.
I wondered aloud how my children feel.
My parents aren't divorced and I realize that I have no clue how a child of divorce feels. I can't understand or predict the profound pain that a child would feel during the process and for life.
That is a (MAJOR) problem.
After class, I was privileged to have a conversation with a fellow classmate.
She approached me and in a matter-of-fact way said:
"You know the things you said about your daughter? I was that girl. I understand."
I knew right then she had to write for this blog.
Her name is Jessie Dent.
She sports winning confidence, a gorgeous smile and a wise countenance.
And...
I am happy to say that not only will she write but she will be a regular contributor.
Meet Jessie:
ABOUT ME:
My name is Jessie Dent, and I am a 22 year old kid of divorced parents. Sometimes I forget, because I am lucky enough to have great relationships with both my mother and my father. But when it comes to voice recitals, holiday's, first day of college, wedding day... oh how I remember.
I am originally from Portland, Oregon. I currently live in Sandy, Utah with my amazing husband Andrew.
Growing up in Oregon, as a Mormon with divorced parents, I felt noticed. You feel like "that kid".
One thing that I discovered is that divorces
can be lonely. For me, my grades went down in school, I hid behind my
glasses, and I was awkward. It was hard to sit in church meetings
without a dad, and it was even harder when kids pointed that out too (as
if it weren't obvious enough).
The song Families Can Be Together Forever... that song is bitter sweet to me. I love every word. I believe in every word. But sometimes I just didn't want to hear it or sing it. Even though both of my parents are remarried, and I am married as well, I still have a hard time singing it... because I think of other kids, mothers, or fathers that are sitting in the same room and feeling sad and lonely.
I also have had some great moments along this crazy journey. On our first little Christmas, feeling very alone and wondering who remembered us, we had a "Secret Santa". I will always remember the gifts given that Christmas. From ornaments, to a manger set, to movie tickets to just go and have a great time. Some nights my mom would hear their car pull up outside, and we knew that the Secret Santa was just a 'window-peek' away. My mom never let us look out the window, and I'm so glad she didn't. Til this day I will never know who it was that gave us the beautiful picture of Christ on Christmas morning. I will never know who it was that made our Christmas feel so special, and I'm so glad that someone out there felt it necessary to reach out to our little family. I will forever be grateful to them for teaching me the lesson of giving even when you are not recognized for it.
I am excited to be sharing insights, stories, advice, and also learning from all of your experiences about blended LDS families.
Thank you for writing this blog. I feel like the more support people can get, the better off they'll be. My two nephews and one neice are kids of divorce. They are twelve nine and seven. I think was has helped them the most is being around family and friends, and still feeling part of the family. My brother and his ex wife are still friends, and the kids are fantastic.
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