Only Kindness Matters...

 Not too long ago, I was feeling especially battered and bruised. Sometimes all of this blending is super tough and I admit to having some really bad days. My husband (ie. the amazing and inspired one) always has something to help. Whether it is a thought, an example, a kind word or even a scripture he seems to know exactly what to say to change my day from bad to better. . On the above mentioned day, he had been reading scriptures and came upon this little beauty:

 23 Now, I speak unto you concerning your families—if men will ^asmite you, or your families, once, and ye ^bbear it patiently and ^crevile not against them, neither seek ^drevenge, ye shall be ^erewarded;

 24 But if ye bear it not patiently, it shall be accounted unto you as being ^ameted out as a just measure unto you.

 25 And again, if your enemy shall smite you the second time, and you revile not against your enemy, and bear it patiently, your reward shall be an ^ahundred-fold.

 26 And again, if he shall smite you the third time, and ye bear it ^apatiently, your reward shall be doubled unto you four-fold;

- Doctrine and Covenants Section 98:23-27

Ok, Ok, I can do this.... Breathe,,,,,,

I would definitely prescribe the reading of these scriptures the next time you are feeling battered and bruised. 

Catch the spirit of kindness and try to just let go of the other stuff.... Or just laugh and eat cake.. :-)

-Barb

p.s. I would like to send a shout-out to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with a very wise and compassionate husband.

Chinese Proverb: The most difficult battles in life are those we fight within

I have  thought long and hard on how I could write this post. Finally the answer came today.

This morning I began reading a new book...







 "The Rent Collector" by Camron Wright has on its very first page two ideas, that very simply sum up my thoughts. The first, is the name of this post. The other, I will explain.

Recently I was chatting with a group of woman, who like me, are blending a family. One of them asked me if I have a hard time with the idea that my husband has been married before.

 The idea of her husband loving another woman, having children with another woman, and basically having a past life with another woman, she said was at times, agonizing for her. She constantly struggled with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. She struggled with it frequently and even felt like these thoughts were damaging to her marriage now.

A few of these women also mentioned having extremely negative feelings towards their husband's ex. These women had either been in confrontation, had been attacked in some way by their husband's ex, or the ex had been a source of drama and stress in their life.

One woman said: "I just don't know what to do. I feel like no matter what I do, I can't get rid of these horrible feelings. I don't want to hate,  and I realize that hate is such a strong word, but I have a hard time not feeling hate towards her."

 I believe these feelings of competition,  jealously, and hatred  can cause a huge problem within our families and marriages. I also belief they are common.

That's why we should talk about it.

I'm not an expert, so the only things I can add to this conversation are those I have been able to do to prevent these feelings in my life.

First, I try to always have a forgiving heart. (Read my last post: Forgiveness...a Gift)

Second, I have come to the realization ( and this took some time ) that my husband (the exact way he is today) could not be possible without his past. This includes ALL of the people of his past. He is who he is (ie. amazing) because of all of those things that happened to him.

How could I not be TRULY THANKFUL for all past experiences and PEOPLE who have made it possible for my husband to be WHO HE IS and to BE MINE.

I have to be. I AM eternally thankful.

This idea helps me let all of the other *stuff* roll off my back, instead of creating an emotional burden. I just need to look at my husband to remember.

"The Rent Collector" starts with this quote:

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky."  -Buddha

Everything you have is here because of the past. It truly is PERFECT. Even if "things" aren't always perfect.

 _____________________________________________________________________________
 

Let me mention one more thing because I think it is important. I know I am always preaching the power of prayer but I want you to think of taking it one step further.

We believe in praying for our enemies. ie. Matthew 5:44   

"But I say unto you, ^aLove your ^benemies, ^cbless them that ^dcurse you, do ^egood to them that ^fhate you, and ^gpray for them which despitefully use you, and ^hpersecute you;"

 

My sister and I once had this conversation. I vented my frustrations about the person and she had a simple answer. She told me to call and put their name on the temple prayer roll. She mentioned that she did this often and that it helps.

The idea completely took me aback for a minute. I couldn't put THAT name on the prayer roll. That name was the very cause of my anguish! But I wanted to believe her.

I realized I was wrong. I knew my sister was right. (She always is.)

But I couldn't do it. Not then. Not yet. I told her I thought that was a great idea, but could she please do it for me until I was ready to pick up the phone and do it myself.  She did.

Today I can.

I would always suggest praying for your enemies and the ones who hurt you most in this life.

Healing happens when we can swallow our pride and pray for good things to happen for them.

(It's just not always easy) :-)

Don't give up.

Love, Barb

Do you have something that works for you? Either comment or send me an e-mail and I will publish your ideas on the blog. I LOVE YOUR INPUT!!

barbhasmail@gmail.com